NDLS Bowling Championship

Written by Devin McGuinness, 3L on the winning team. This is his take on the events that went down that historic evening. (disclaimer for those who do not know Devin: sometimes he gets passionate about a topic, yet he always finds the words to describe how he’s feeling).

Team Paul McCartney is Dead: The Kans Hessler Story

I once heard someone say that there are more important things in life than winning… Ha! What a stupid thing to say. Of course, there is nothing more important than winning. Nobody remembers the name of a loser, nobody holds a championship parade for a loser, and no one wants a picture with a loser. It was these three motivations that led myself and my team, “Paul McCartney is Dead,” to the NDLS Bowling League Championship this past Thursday at the historic Strikes and Spares Lanes in beautiful Mishawka, Indiana. It has been a few days since our monumental victory and now that the champagne is finally starting to wear off and the newspapers are no longer calling my phone every hour, I thought I would take the time to share with you all a little story that might help motivate you in the future.

I know it may be hard to believe, but Team Paul McCartney is Dead was not always the championship caliber unit that you see confidently roaming the halls of Eck today. Paul McCartney is Dead, formerly known as “Bush did 9/11,” was once a group of mortals no different than the average joe. Spares were no sure things to this group and strikes seemed like a far-off dream. This was especially true for one member, who I will not name personally, but for the sake of this blog will just refer to as Kans Hessler. Kans would stroll into the lanes every Thursday night knowing that he would be of absolute no help to his team. In fact, his own teammates would bet against him, believing that there was no way he would ever be able to compete at the level necessary to win the gold. But Kans never gave up. He bowled and he bowled and he bowled. Every week, a little better than the last. Until finally, Kans showed up for the night of the bowling league championship. No one in the audience of over 1000 fans thought for a second that Kans would be of any help. But there was one person in that bowling alley who believed. KANS. Kans believed in his heart of hearts that if he tried his hardest, he could do it. And by golly, did he do it. Kans led his team that night to an amazing victory. Kans was lifted high in the air by his teammates as the crowd screamed his name. He held the bowling trophy high as he was carried into the sunset, his legend growing larger as he left. On that night, Kans taught us all a lesson, never give up, never surrender. A slogan his idol, John Cena, would embrace proudly.

With his championship in hand, we can only pray that Kans does not let the fame and fortune get to him. Kans’ history shows a proclivity for immoral things, and I just hope that he can put those demons behind him to be a good role model to the 2Ls and 1Ls who will follow him.

Lastly, I would ask that everyone reading this never forget the legacy that our bowling team has left here. Do not ever be afraid to question out loud, is Paul McCartney really dead? Or, did Bush really do 9/11? Because this is what we, and especially Kans, would have wanted. Fare the well Law School.

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